An Indian gay unwinds..

[About the picture -Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger. I love this still from the movie!] "I wish I knew how to quit you" My favourite line from the Epic movie. Every time I watch it, a piece of me melts for both of them. Watched it after a long time. And first time after I met A. The movie's plain simple guitar music given by Gustavo Santaolalla is an indispensable part of movie experience for me. Especially the track - 'Wings' played during the final scene, it's beautiful but in a gut wrenching way.  The mountains, the stillness, the close ups. the performances. Everything is so tender and real. This movie will always remain for me in the top 3 Queer movies of all times. And to A, I wish I knew how to quit you :) Final Scene of Brokeback Mountain

Have I ever told you guys about my fascination with Urdu poetry and ghazals! There is something about the Urdu words that resonate with my inner self, somewhere deep it stirs my soul. And I don't know why. Nobody even in my extended family is interested in poetry or ghazals etc but I guess those six years at medical school, drinking BP (our favorite and affordable whiskey brand of those days!) with the my friends, listening to Jagjit Singh, Ghulam Ali, Mehdi Hassan, Abida Parveen and ilk in that 'mood' lighting (We used to wrap a faint cloth around the zero watt bulb to set the mood for drinks :p) I developed a penchant for words. Words, esp Urdu words, so dense & so deep that they literally pierce through your heart and you begin to feel the emotions expressed in them as that part of you which was hitherto undiscovered but are strangely familiar.  So here is a little collection of lines that I have always liked. Will update it as and when I remember more. Raat yun ...

My today's horoscope said -  The lure of the strange and unusual is becoming stronger in your horoscope day by day and week by week. The question is, can you satisfy this aspect of your character close at hand or must you plan an overseas expedition? Are you ready for a voyage into the unknown? I am exactly at a point in life where unknown beckons me. Things are in flux. All chaos. The idea of home, friends, work, love, life. All ask for new meaning. Severed from the hitherto past. No idea what's going to happen. In times like these, duck your head. Shut down the ever buzzing radio of mind. Light a cigarette. Sit in dark room with faint green light. And surrender. 

(About the picutures - It is famous cemetry in cental Calcutta. Taking a walk through the graves built as early as 1700s in various architectural styles with lush green surroundings is magical. A & I met here during the initial days] I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word home means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bedroom when you were eight. See, I want to know the first time you felt the weight of hate, and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms or would leave your snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you wou...

As my days in Bombay aka Aamchi Mumbai are numbered, I am spending my last few days of carefree student life lazing around in campus,  having unhealthy and expensive food, drinking a lot, smoking to my heart's (and in this case, lungs!) content. So basically, having fun time before I begin the work phase of my life. Lately, I  have started to think about my non-existent sex life since last few months. After going through this break up thing which went on for me for so long, I think, my desires to consummate again signals that finally I am ready to begin my normal life, at least on surface. But with a full beard that threatens to go unruly if not taken care of soon coupled with no gyming/exercising since 6 months leading to considerable accumulation of adipose tissue in the mid segment (& for those who know the medical lingo, almost 18 weeks size ;) and accha khaasa sun burn, I look so totally hideous right now. But inspite of all this, on the verge of sounding of self-...

[About the picture - The Queen's Necklace :) This place will always be one of the best stress buster places of all times! Feeling low, then take a cab and come to Marine drive. And let the sea breeze lighten you up!] After spending almost 2 years in Mumbai, it's time to pack my bags, yet again :( This regular nomadic life that I have been living since the beginning of my life, sometimes I hate it! First it was the army thing because of dad, then because of mom's job we kept on changing places. Have changed more than 7 schools in 12 years of schooling. By the way, did I ever mention that I was one of those (un)fortunate children who used to study in the same schools where my Mum was posted as principal! It was a different kind of feeling. Almost a mini-celebrity stature :) Every new school I joined, since the very first day, students start to point fingers at you in hushed tones while you walk in the corridors. Teachers deal with you in different manner than...