Will never fall for a STRAIGHT guy again !!
My first visit to an entirely new city, a city hailed as "City of dreams" by many ...a city which never sleeps..a city where thousands pour in everyday in hope of injecting a new lease into their lives..the most gay friendly city of India..MUMBAI !!!!
After a long & arduous task of written exams followed by interviews spanning almost a whole year, here I am, staring out of a beautiful & almost wall sized window of my apartment in a multi storied building reflecting the turn of events that brought me from an almost nondescript town in North India to this amazing city which now I call home :)
It has almost been a month since I have moved here & the first thing I fell in love with here are RAINS...Almost suddenly they'll catch you in between, drench you completely within minutes & then disappear with an equal swiftness leaving behind a soggy trail & an irritated mind. But even then, I love it !
To get drenched in the lashing rains when I am on my bike speeding away..its awesome !!
Anyway, coming back to the topic which is on top of my head right now and is the undercurrent of almost everything I do these days...Mr C.
Let me start with a brief introduction. On my very first day, when I was interacting with my new batch mates, with all the cordial introductions & polite talking going on, here comes an almost 6 ft tall, fair guy with remarkable green eyes & little beard confidently extending his hand "Hi, I am C." For a second, I was kind of stumped, almost mesmerised by his eyes. Then almost simultaneously pulling my act together I also introduced myself & from then onwards began the journey of me getting drawn towards him knowing fully well the absolutely futile ramifications of this one sided infatuation for a straight guy !!
As days passed by, as expected we started to hang out together. It started off with sharing a smoke, then progressed into having a few drinks together discussing almost all the abstract things that could possibly come to inebriated minds..from casteism, idealism, realism, gender issues, individualism etc etc. As I have come to know more about him during those discussions, I now feel even more attracted to him. He is blessed with not just good looks but with an extremely stable mind over able shoulders and a sense of clarity & purpose in life which most of us lack and particularly what I hope to find (a 'theme' to life) within the next few years of my stay in this city.
With events unfolding so rapidly, I didn't get the chance to shake myself out of the risky business I had already begun to venture into. As it is, I have already burnt my fingers with this 'one sided love for a straight guy' thing more than once, I no more intend to give myself the agony once again.
Hence, with a heavy heart I am slowly trying to dissociate myself with my emotions for him. Its tough, not just because he is everything that I expect my ideal partner to be like, but also because he is now a good friend and avoiding him is not an option anymore. Also, I actually want to continue being friends with him, coz I can learn lot about life from him.
And amid trepidation, I am writing this blog entry..I hope this issue gets resolved (or melts away in silence) without much trouble !!
Also I have decided to be regular with my blog entries from now on and post all the experiences worth sharing in this amazing city..
P.S. Next blog will be My coming out story part II.
After a long & arduous task of written exams followed by interviews spanning almost a whole year, here I am, staring out of a beautiful & almost wall sized window of my apartment in a multi storied building reflecting the turn of events that brought me from an almost nondescript town in North India to this amazing city which now I call home :)
It has almost been a month since I have moved here & the first thing I fell in love with here are RAINS...Almost suddenly they'll catch you in between, drench you completely within minutes & then disappear with an equal swiftness leaving behind a soggy trail & an irritated mind. But even then, I love it !
To get drenched in the lashing rains when I am on my bike speeding away..its awesome !!
Anyway, coming back to the topic which is on top of my head right now and is the undercurrent of almost everything I do these days...Mr C.
Let me start with a brief introduction. On my very first day, when I was interacting with my new batch mates, with all the cordial introductions & polite talking going on, here comes an almost 6 ft tall, fair guy with remarkable green eyes & little beard confidently extending his hand "Hi, I am C." For a second, I was kind of stumped, almost mesmerised by his eyes. Then almost simultaneously pulling my act together I also introduced myself & from then onwards began the journey of me getting drawn towards him knowing fully well the absolutely futile ramifications of this one sided infatuation for a straight guy !!
As days passed by, as expected we started to hang out together. It started off with sharing a smoke, then progressed into having a few drinks together discussing almost all the abstract things that could possibly come to inebriated minds..from casteism, idealism, realism, gender issues, individualism etc etc. As I have come to know more about him during those discussions, I now feel even more attracted to him. He is blessed with not just good looks but with an extremely stable mind over able shoulders and a sense of clarity & purpose in life which most of us lack and particularly what I hope to find (a 'theme' to life) within the next few years of my stay in this city.
With events unfolding so rapidly, I didn't get the chance to shake myself out of the risky business I had already begun to venture into. As it is, I have already burnt my fingers with this 'one sided love for a straight guy' thing more than once, I no more intend to give myself the agony once again.
Hence, with a heavy heart I am slowly trying to dissociate myself with my emotions for him. Its tough, not just because he is everything that I expect my ideal partner to be like, but also because he is now a good friend and avoiding him is not an option anymore. Also, I actually want to continue being friends with him, coz I can learn lot about life from him.
And amid trepidation, I am writing this blog entry..I hope this issue gets resolved (or melts away in silence) without much trouble !!
Also I have decided to be regular with my blog entries from now on and post all the experiences worth sharing in this amazing city..
P.S. Next blog will be My coming out story part II.
Hee Hee Mr. C sounds so cheesy. But yeah a wise decision, Just reserve the straight good looking guys for jacking off purposes.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice :)
ReplyDeleteNow almost 6 months later, Mr. C now knows. One night, after having too many drinks, I told him everything & even made him read this post. He was kind of surprised and merely smiled.
Eventually, I have moved on and he has never mentioned it again & we still remain good friends.
Wow!! That is so amazing! Now I am falling for C! LOL!!
DeleteBTW I am eagerly waiting for the part two of the Coming out Act. Please post it soon!