Letters for A - Floating thoughts!
Dear A,
Sitting at the airport, waiting for the flight to take me away from the megapolis that was home for past 2 years, my thoughts wander towards you. I am hungry therefore I order the only decent option available (which was ridiculously overpriced!) which turned out to be one of the most horrendous tasting sandwich I have ever had. As I attempt to swallow it, just in order to fill my stomach, my eyes wander towards the sauces available at the counter. And I think of you. Had you been in a similar situation, you would have chosen the best among them and would have made them into something that was not only edible but also inviting. You are famous for your culinary skills (though I never got a chance to have that meal that you promised you would make just for me!) and just listening/reading about the exotic dishes that you used to make, made my salivary glands overwork.
But that's all that remains.
It has been a long time since we last had any interaction. Though physically I am far away from you, but my thoughts still hover around you many times a day. How are things your side? How is the the big shoot that you were supposed to have coming along? It must be real busy time for you these days with all the work that precedes the shoot, but do you still find time once in a while to drink and have those quiet impromptu parties with your friends under those dim coloured lighting and slow music? Do you ever think about me? About how is the the new place that I have settled in and the job that I started recently? And specifically, do thoughts about me float into your mind when you are a little high after drinking? Have you fallen in love again? Or went back loving S the way it was earlier? And if you are close to someone right now, did you tell him about me? I wonder what would you have said? I am curious to know that, but at the same moment afraid to listen about it. You used to say that I was one of the 3 people in your life that you have felt for so strongly. I wonder what the story would sound like for number 4 lying the bed with you, running his fingers over those lil hairs (what I totally loved and you hated!) over your shoulders absentmindedly.
It'll your birthday soon. I am contemplating whether to call and wish you or send you flowers anonymously or just a simple 2 word happy birthday message on fb? But then, it was you who had decided to limit the interaction between us in foreseeable future by wishing my good luck 'in coming months' in a crisp 2 line last message. And I do not have the strength to call and wish you and listen to that awkward thank you and some polite small talk that you will make. Sending flowers is an equally bad idea because our birthdays are just a few days apart and I don't want you to reciprocate it when clearly you don't want to. Hence, I would just be quiet and send my silent good wishes for you :)
On the same note, I hate that we share same zodiac sign. As I am so used to reading my horoscope daily for many years now, more so because of habit, my thoughts wander towards you subconsciously. When it talks of trials and tribulations in the day, I wonder what the day will be like for you. It has lately been speaking a lot about secret romance and spending time with loved ones, and I despise my mind's habit of forming stories about how your life is going on based on those 2 lines everyday!
You had said the last time we met that you were a changed man now. I now believe it. Therefore, I have decided not to get in touch with this "new" person and shatter whatever memories I had with the old one. Loving in silence is so much peaceful and non-interfering in daily life. I have made a list of things I lost in past few months being preoccupied with the idea of you and have stuck it on my wall. And there are some very important things down there. I'll remember them all. Not because you did anything, but because I allowed myself to do those things to other aspects of my life. And make sure I never do that again to myself for anybody ever again.
Sitting at the airport, waiting for the flight to take me away from the megapolis that was home for past 2 years, my thoughts wander towards you. I am hungry therefore I order the only decent option available (which was ridiculously overpriced!) which turned out to be one of the most horrendous tasting sandwich I have ever had. As I attempt to swallow it, just in order to fill my stomach, my eyes wander towards the sauces available at the counter. And I think of you. Had you been in a similar situation, you would have chosen the best among them and would have made them into something that was not only edible but also inviting. You are famous for your culinary skills (though I never got a chance to have that meal that you promised you would make just for me!) and just listening/reading about the exotic dishes that you used to make, made my salivary glands overwork.
But that's all that remains.
It has been a long time since we last had any interaction. Though physically I am far away from you, but my thoughts still hover around you many times a day. How are things your side? How is the the big shoot that you were supposed to have coming along? It must be real busy time for you these days with all the work that precedes the shoot, but do you still find time once in a while to drink and have those quiet impromptu parties with your friends under those dim coloured lighting and slow music? Do you ever think about me? About how is the the new place that I have settled in and the job that I started recently? And specifically, do thoughts about me float into your mind when you are a little high after drinking? Have you fallen in love again? Or went back loving S the way it was earlier? And if you are close to someone right now, did you tell him about me? I wonder what would you have said? I am curious to know that, but at the same moment afraid to listen about it. You used to say that I was one of the 3 people in your life that you have felt for so strongly. I wonder what the story would sound like for number 4 lying the bed with you, running his fingers over those lil hairs (what I totally loved and you hated!) over your shoulders absentmindedly.
It'll your birthday soon. I am contemplating whether to call and wish you or send you flowers anonymously or just a simple 2 word happy birthday message on fb? But then, it was you who had decided to limit the interaction between us in foreseeable future by wishing my good luck 'in coming months' in a crisp 2 line last message. And I do not have the strength to call and wish you and listen to that awkward thank you and some polite small talk that you will make. Sending flowers is an equally bad idea because our birthdays are just a few days apart and I don't want you to reciprocate it when clearly you don't want to. Hence, I would just be quiet and send my silent good wishes for you :)
On the same note, I hate that we share same zodiac sign. As I am so used to reading my horoscope daily for many years now, more so because of habit, my thoughts wander towards you subconsciously. When it talks of trials and tribulations in the day, I wonder what the day will be like for you. It has lately been speaking a lot about secret romance and spending time with loved ones, and I despise my mind's habit of forming stories about how your life is going on based on those 2 lines everyday!
You had said the last time we met that you were a changed man now. I now believe it. Therefore, I have decided not to get in touch with this "new" person and shatter whatever memories I had with the old one. Loving in silence is so much peaceful and non-interfering in daily life. I have made a list of things I lost in past few months being preoccupied with the idea of you and have stuck it on my wall. And there are some very important things down there. I'll remember them all. Not because you did anything, but because I allowed myself to do those things to other aspects of my life. And make sure I never do that again to myself for anybody ever again.
:-)
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