Closure Report
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| Khel Khatam Hua! |
At 12.30 in the noon sprawled in the common room overlooking foliage covered mountains in a picturesque hill station of Western India, I hereby declare, being in full control over my mental faculties, that I am filing an official closure report on all the 'ladfas' (romantic liaisons) I have been involved in past few years now that I have attained certain degree of peace with each one of them.
Therefore, may it be A, allegedly an 'eternally unsolvable' puzzle that I got embroiled in many years ago, or M or K or even J, who came in quick succession in past one year, I honestly and happily wish them the best for future!
It all started with the LBGT writing workshop that I was selected for last year, where, to my utter shock, I bumped into A after years of being completely incommunicado. Well one thing let to another and we were having Old Monk that night at a shady bar in the suburbs. I'll forever remember that night as one of the most drunken cathartic nights where I dipped the arrows of my well-chosen words into the poison I had accrued over the years and pointedly directed over the most vulnerable crevices of his existence. Kudos to him that he listened calmly, for the most part, and let me vent out the years of anguish I had wrapped up in some corner of my being.
Later that night I had drunken sex with a random off-grindr stoner and boned him to the core.
It all started with the LBGT writing workshop that I was selected for last year, where, to my utter shock, I bumped into A after years of being completely incommunicado. Well one thing let to another and we were having Old Monk that night at a shady bar in the suburbs. I'll forever remember that night as one of the most drunken cathartic nights where I dipped the arrows of my well-chosen words into the poison I had accrued over the years and pointedly directed over the most vulnerable crevices of his existence. Kudos to him that he listened calmly, for the most part, and let me vent out the years of anguish I had wrapped up in some corner of my being.
Later that night I had drunken sex with a random off-grindr stoner and boned him to the core.
The next few months of meeting him occasionally eased me, or rather liberated me, from the 'Qafas' (cage) of him I had constructed around me. Now that he is a new relationship with an affable young man, I can sincerely wish him the good luck!
So much for love, A!
M came almost immediately after the ghosts of A were vanquished. The barrage of inability to love someone was closed for so long that when it finally opened, it engulfed the next fascinating person I met. Many months down the line, I am still happily friends with him. He was kinda my first proper rebound now that I think about it.
K was scurry & flurry affair that germinated in the hospital wards and corridors of the city I visited often. Alas, with the patient passing away, a silent burial was accorded to our little dalliance.
Though it took J, an ex-lover of K, to help me let go of whatever shards of K I was holding onto. In that process, maybe I might have led J on, but hey, I have been collateral damage in the past many times, maybe it was his time to be one.
With J story wrapping up last weekend, here I am, away from the cacophony of my city, on a week-long leave, nestled in a quaint place on the slope of mountains, thinking about the proverbial blank slate I have been gifted with.
So much for love, A!
M came almost immediately after the ghosts of A were vanquished. The barrage of inability to love someone was closed for so long that when it finally opened, it engulfed the next fascinating person I met. Many months down the line, I am still happily friends with him. He was kinda my first proper rebound now that I think about it.
K was scurry & flurry affair that germinated in the hospital wards and corridors of the city I visited often. Alas, with the patient passing away, a silent burial was accorded to our little dalliance.
Though it took J, an ex-lover of K, to help me let go of whatever shards of K I was holding onto. In that process, maybe I might have led J on, but hey, I have been collateral damage in the past many times, maybe it was his time to be one.
With J story wrapping up last weekend, here I am, away from the cacophony of my city, on a week-long leave, nestled in a quaint place on the slope of mountains, thinking about the proverbial blank slate I have been gifted with.
A new job, a new city, may be a new country. Things that I have been paddling for under the water for a considerable time now, probably it's time for them to be realized!
In words of Zafar Gorakhpuri,
सिलसिले के बाद कोई सिलसिला रौशन करें
इक दिया जब साथ छोड़े दूसरा रौशन करें
(After a course of events, begin another afresh. When one lamp gets extinguished, light another one :)
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