Time to reset?

Yesterday I had a long conversation with Dr. Hottie after a long time. Thanks to this lockdown, I have tried to connect & rekindle with some of the long lost friends and acquaintances, the stories of whom were left unattended in the daily rigmarole of life.

We spoke about our lives and how it has evolved over last few years. We compared our perspectives on lust & companionship esp. now that we are not getting younger. It was an interesting conversation that sparked a new debate inside of me.

Now Dr. Hottie & I chatted casually long time back on Tinder but we never met up and I kinda forgot about him. Years went by and I randomly bumped into this tall, well built fella at a medical conference I was organizing. I left no stone unturned ogling him throughout the meeting (partially because he was the only maal looking types in the gathering which is usually attended by boring, middle-to-old age tired looking folks).

The happy surprise was that he himself came up to me and asked - Remember?

Immediately my gaydar went buzzing but for the life of me I couldn't recognize who he was. After a small talk, I racked my brains, searched through the apps and finally found him. As it was an official engagement, we couldn't talk much but promised to keep in touch more often.

Cut to few months down the line, I meet him again at some work thing, this time in Kolkata. The next couple of days were wonderful. We walked through the crowded alleyways of old city, took random tram journeys, fed ourselves at some of the choicest places, sang to our heart's content (btw he is classically trained singer too ;) and had some amazing sex :p

Things went back to same old when we were back in Bombay, though we kept meeting once in a while. Being a noble soul that he is, he later quit his job and started working for an international NGO which provides support in war-torn countries. He was assigned one of the worst affected areas in the Middle East.

I met him the day after he landed in the city after spending a few months there. I clearly remember him sitting in my house with his head thrown back in numbness & his eyes shut for a long time. Though I am no stranger to blood & gore, the stories he told of treating daily victims of bomb blasts, children with missing limbs, mortal fear of stepping out each day, hardened men and weeping women. That night I slept holding him in a tight embrace.

Our once-in-a-blue-moon catch up continues and I look forward to him coming home in the next few days for a weekend. Anyway, the conversation yesterday got me thinking on how the concept of discipline is so unique to each one of us and can I start afresh yet another time, having failed so miserably in the past? Well, that remains to be seen. 

And oh in other news, I have taken up dance fitness sessions daily through the wonderful cure.fit app. Finally the uncoordinated mess that is my limbs have started swaying a bit & I fully intend to get  drunk  and dance my heart out the next gay party I get a chance to go to :p